随风飘散 ——那些我错过的机会,那些意外,和我所有未竞的愿望,的确都是我的遗憾。可它们让我拥有了现在的一切,而我所拥有的一切什么也换不走。 在我杂乱而繁多的文件夹里,在最隐蔽的角落小心的藏着几封没有寄出的信。 颜色各异的信封下,是承载着满满感情的信纸。或有表达苦恼遗憾,或有欣喜得意,这都是我人生的一部分,而众多的一部分构成了我。 今天天气很好,温暖的阳光斜照着,巧妙得将书架上的书拉成了一行影子,遮挡了我正在阅读的信。我抬起头,窗外微风正和树儿玩着捉迷藏,急得笨拙的树摇晃的哗哗作响。我把信塞进了背包,去和山风一起游戏。 在老柏树旁聆听鸟儿歌唱,在草地上在颓墙边发呆,又是处处虫鸣的午后,又是鸟儿归巢的傍晚,看着周围一切黯淡下来又看见月亮如千百万年来照常升起,我这才有点愿意明白:“我的公公再也不能看见我了”。 今年里,悲事不断,可喜闻也有不少。尤其对于我的公公,前两天不是刚刚挺过了手术,笑着让我回去时教我做菜,那个当过兵,那个能在我小时候把我举在天空中翱翔的人,已经在鬼门关走过几次了,这一次,又怎么可能出问题呢?定又是一件喜事,笑着说挺过73,就又能坚持10年吧。 一个人默默沿着海边漫无目的的走,碰到岔路口,也不愿停下,随意走向一边,继续走去。“别停下”一个温柔的声音一直悄然萦绕着,“继续走,别停下”。 路上的行人大都也洋溢着笑容,或许是因为这样的好天气吧。只是我却有些冷,双脚愈发无力,感觉背上越来越重,那几张信纸所承载的时光几乎要将我压垮。但那个声音依旧温暖“别停下,继续走”。我知道,我不能停下。 要走多久?要走到哪?我不知道。这世上又有谁能知晓自己究竟想去哪呢?但不管怎样,我们所能做的,就是走下去。所以,我不能停下。 周围人越来越少,我的内心反倒越来越不安起来,那些缤纷的回忆悄然而至,让我的视线越来越模糊,无法透过沾满水汽的眼睛看清前方的路。 不过,其实我们一直也看不清自己的路,就这样走下去,又何妨? 今晚的星光格外温柔,将海面照成了一道道璀璨的丝绸。不知何方穿来了缥缈却真切的歌声:那歌声含混,听不清究竟在唱什么,曲调却宁静安和,仿佛在抚摸着我。我闭上眼睛,细细聆听,那歌声却戛然而止,我睁开眼睛,又缓缓响起,我努力去听,终于听清一句:“眺望就是回想”。我抬起头,星空亘古不变的闪耀,散发着数亿年前的光。 我突然觉得有些累,累的一点也不想走,我哪儿也不想去了,我只想停下,我只想保持此刻,我只是想,再看一眼时光。而残酷的时间哈哈大笑,一如既往的奔涌而过,而我所能做的,只有观望。 我坐下来,拿出那堆重的令我无法行动的信纸。那上面,是我们共处的时光,是我们共同谱写的篇章,奏出的美妙乐曲。“不要哭”,海风呼啸而过,“一个真正的男人是不能随意哭的”。我投头,又看见了那个训斥哭泣我的他。嘴角不经意间漏出了微笑,可眼泪,却还是缓缓流下,对不起呢,即使这么大了,我依旧还是会哭。 忽然刮来猛烈的风,手中的信纸被吹得漫天飞舞。我一愣神,已经四处飘散去了。我开始疯狂的跑,想去追赶那些在空中飞舞已经看不清写了什么字的信纸,生怕她们掉入海里。 她们确实没有掉入海中,她们飞上了天空,飞到了我遥不可及的远方。 我站在原地,愣愣得看着那逐渐飘散的信纸,露出了微笑:那些我带不走的,都随风飘散吧。

 

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